Monday, 19 December 2016

I miss you

i can't believe that it has already been a week since I received the worst phone call of my entire life. This shocked me so hard I don't think I can ever get over it. I am still having nightmares about it. What will I do without the strongest person that I have ever known? This is something I have never imagined happening to me or my family. Of course I haven't. Why would I? You don't sit there wishing or thinking bad stuff happens to someone you love unconditionally, do you? I think not. 

Sometimes in life things happen when you're least expecting it. Whether it's good or bad but in this situation, I'm so f'ing angry. I'm angry at everything. I kinda know what I'm angry at but at the same time I don't know if I really should be angry, if that even makes any sense? It's kinda getting late now but I will write a long post in hopes that I feel better about my situation by letting it all out. I am 100% sure that I am not the only one going through this feeling of emptiness either. I am sure there is many of us out there who's going through the same pain which btw I do not wish on my worst enemy.

I am trying to smile and be positive, but it is just so f'ing painful. My brain reminds me every few seconds. Literally. 

Anyway, I'll have more time writing this blogpost as its a bit late but I thought I would post this one anyway, hope you have all been doing good. x

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