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Saturday, 31 December 2016

dear, hoyo




It's the last day of 2016. I wanted to write a message for my dearest Mother. She was such an incredible person. Also....you may read this and feel sorry for me but I promise you that I am not looking for sympathy. I don't want you to feel sorry for me. I will be okay. Writing this, makes me feel a whole lot better than keeping it to myself as I can't sleep at night. I lost my mum three nearly weeks ago now. I can't stop relieving it. It's the worst thing to ever happen to my family.  She didn't look ill. She still looked like herself. She just started getting pain on the the left side of her body, and just like that...We found out the result of her illness, we blinked, and she was gone. but I don't want to go into too much details about that right now, because I am still trying to understand it.

Dear Hoyo (Mum) I always reach out for my phone wanting to call you, or i'll send a snapchat to you, thinking that you'll watch it or reply back with one of your usual blurry pictures. But deep down i know that, that's never going to happen. And then my heart sinks. I feel like i'm living in a nightmare. I hate the fact that my brain is always reminding me that you will not be at home. I will not hear your infectious laugh from upstairs. I will never smell your delicious food. I will never be able to hear you speaking so loudly, and freely on the phone. African mums for ya. And I will never hear you calling my name, or one of my siblings name. That house has never been the same without you. It's even empty when you just pop to the shop.  It's like we can feel that you have truly left us. The atmosphere is depressing, and can you imagine what Abo (dad) must be going through right now? Not has he lost his dad this year, but four months later, he lost you too. That's fucked up.

I miss you, like everyday. It feels weird to enter another year, without you counting down with us. Or me calling you to say "sanat, wanagsan" aka happy new year.  It still feels so surreal, mum. I literally feel like i am dreaming. I know you don't want me to cry, but I really cannot help it. Even though i'm still so fucking angry, I'm happy that you wasn't in pain for long. You gave us every single piece of you. You always put us first. I feel privileged for knowing you for 20-something years. And If I could give you  a soul, I would give you mine. Everyone would, because you are just what we needed on this earth.

Mum, you are loved by many. Lots of your friends came to pay their respect, and way too many people we have never met before but knew you through the act of your kindness came to bring food, and drinks and prayed for you. The amount of love you received was overwhelming. People we have never heard of called the house phone and spoke about you in such a lovely manner. Even though it was a nice thing to do-- it was just another reminder that you have left this earth. It makes me happy to know that you have made a difference in so many peoples lives, and impacted them in so many different ways. 

I know i've told you this MANY times, but I wish I could get another chance to just tell you how much of a great Mother you have been to us. I wish I could hug and kiss you one more time. I wish I could comb your hair, and cream your feet just one more time. I wish I could make you my famous caano shaah (tea) that you loved, just one more time. You may have left this earth, physically, but you will never be forgotten. We are still half of you. All 13 of us. And the grandkids still talk about you too, even though they don't quite understand what's happening yet. They associate pretty much everything with you, lol. Lucas and Sumayyah always tell me stories about the foods you used to make. They miss your canjero. You showered all of us with so much love, and I will forever be grateful to have met such a remarkable woman, like yourself, Mum! The grankids will always remember everything you did for them, even if it was something so small. You were all your siblings favourite, even your Mums, lol. You didn't hear this from me!

You are always with me in my heart. I know that you are guiding me. I will forever remember you as the STRONG, HEALTHY, VIBRANT African queen that you are. You was full of love, and patience, Mum. Even though we drove you crazy, you never gave up on us. We have so many memories together, and i will always cherish your laugh, and the fact that you were the only one who used to laugh at my dry jokes. 

It gives me comfort to know that you are no longer suffering. You are in peace now, hoyo.  And you passed so peacefully, too. You are no longer in pain. I hope that you are now relaxing, and catching up on all those sleepless nights.

I don't know when this pain will end, and when I will actually accept that you are gone, but for now...I will just remember and live in the happy memories.

I'm sad that I couldn't give you all while you were on this earth, but I am praying for you, and I will make you proud, and when we meet some day, I will give you everything that you deserve and beyond. 

If you've read this, hug your mum for me. Don't take your parents for granted. Love them while they're here on this earth.

I love you so much, hoyo. rest in peace my angel <3

Monday, 19 December 2016

I miss you

i can't believe that it has already been a week since I received the worst phone call of my entire life. This shocked me so hard I don't think I can ever get over it. I am still having nightmares about it. What will I do without the strongest person that I have ever known? This is something I have never imagined happening to me or my family. Of course I haven't. Why would I? You don't sit there wishing or thinking bad stuff happens to someone you love unconditionally, do you? I think not. 

Sometimes in life things happen when you're least expecting it. Whether it's good or bad but in this situation, I'm so f'ing angry. I'm angry at everything. I kinda know what I'm angry at but at the same time I don't know if I really should be angry, if that even makes any sense? It's kinda getting late now but I will write a long post in hopes that I feel better about my situation by letting it all out. I am 100% sure that I am not the only one going through this feeling of emptiness either. I am sure there is many of us out there who's going through the same pain which btw I do not wish on my worst enemy.

I am trying to smile and be positive, but it is just so f'ing painful. My brain reminds me every few seconds. Literally. 

Anyway, I'll have more time writing this blogpost as its a bit late but I thought I would post this one anyway, hope you have all been doing good. x

Thursday, 24 November 2016

Thankfulness.





Even though we don't celebrate Thanksgiving, I am thankful as fuck for my own family, my Mum, Dad, Siblings & especially this little guy over here. Life before him was a bit hectic, but shit he truly did change my life for the better. I never knew i was going to become a Mum so quick, and although i've always loved children, I didn't think that I would do a great job raising one myself. I wasn't clueless, no, not at all because I already helped my Mum raise so many of my siblings but at the same time, I didn't realise how much other stuff that comes with it besides the crying. I never had to deal with a teething baby before, you know? I knew at  the end of the day my Mother would come home and get them, lol! I have learned so much from this little dude that I didn't know before. Two things that I always tend to do is, trust my instincts and literally just get on with it. I am thankful for the days easy days, the hard days, and the days where I feel like "oh gosh" am I doing enough for this little guy, am I feeding him the right food, Is he getting the right amount of sleep, Am I taking him outside and exploring with him enough, and all the guilt and anxiety creeps up on me, but honestly, I am just so thankful that he choose ME to be his Mother. All I can do is try my best to bring him up the best way that I can.

Lucas my love, you actually have no idea that you're the reason why I carry on, so thank you for that. <3

PS. Happy Thanksgiving to those who are indeed celebrating! I am very jealous of all the delicious food you will devour today!!!

xx

S

Wednesday, 2 November 2016

hospital diaries.


the 1st of November will be never be the same again. 

Thursday, 15 September 2016

Dear Lucas My Love


Dear Lucas my love, 

This Saturday coming will be your third birthday. THIRD. I can't get over how quick it has come by.

You have grown into a little genius. I'm amazed at how much you know sometimes, but it's lovely to know that you speak your mind, and understand much better than you did a few months ago.

I love that you communicate with every single stranger that you come across with-- even if you tell them our whole life story. This makes me feel happy inside as I know that you will never have a problem making a friend, or two... Or maybe three.

You are obsessed with Paw Patrol and Thomas the Tank Engine, and all you've been doing ever since that you found out it'll be your time to celebrate your birthday soon-- is flicking through the Argos catalogue and choosing ALL things Paw Patrol and Thomas the Tank engine. 

Don't you worry, honey... I will not forget to get you a Paw Patrol cake that you've been asking about every damn day.

Nothing warms my heart more than when you say that "mummy and daddy are my best friends" to other people. Hehehehhehehe. We better be! 

You are still a cry baby (oh my god, I am not exaggerating ok). This happens every two seconds because you can't get your own way. I guess that's something you got from me? Ha!

You should be proud of yourself because you stopped wearing nappies at two and a half! Now you're a pro at going to the toilet on your own (while I'm sitting outside) and calling me when you've done a poo!

You haven't quite mastered the art of listening but it's okay. You are only a toddler. I haven't met a boy toddler who listens to everything their parents tell them yet.

You like to test my patience and rebel a lot, and that's totally fine. How else are you going to learn from your mistakes? I did tell you not to touch that chilly. 

No, but on a serious note.. You're learning and that's totally fine. Just remember to always, always, listen more.

Speaking two languages may be hard, but not for you our kid. I hope that you never forget speaking your mothers tongue. Maybe one day, we can all go back to our country, and visit the family that you've never met and ones that I haven't seen for over 20- something years. I hope that one day you can meet my grandma hoyooy (your great grandma) and have a cheeky chat with her in Somali, since Hoyo (my mam) never bothered to teach us Barwani!

The media isn't always telling the truth, so don't believe everything you hear. Take risks and live life without fearing anybody! Remember, fear is just an illusion. And all those negative things you're telling yourself in your head-- just aren't true. Thoughts become things, so be aware of the thoughts you're feeding your mind, and to quite literally only choose the good ones.

There is so much beauty in this world, my dear son, go and explore. Go on adventures with your friends.

I love you so much and I want you to forever remember to be yourself. Be vocal. Let your big personality shine. Travel the world. Learn about different cultures.

You will meet some awesome people and some horrible people in life, but don't ever pay attention or listen to anything that comes out of a bully's mouth. They are just living an unhappy life.

I want you to be happy. I want you to be kind to anyone you cross paths with. You don't have to be friends with them, but you can be kind to them, because you never know what they may be going through in their personal life... However-- (THIS DOES NOT APPLY TO A BULLY. THEY CAN GO AND FUCK THEMSELVES).

I trust you to find something you're passionate about and executing the idea!

Oh, and when you're a fully grown man... Don't forget to check up on Daddy and I. Once in the morning, and once at night. 

I love you all the way to the moon and back. 

Mummy,

XXXX


Monday, 5 September 2016

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Sunday, 4 September 2016

LIFE STUFF.

Hello, everybody and welcome back to another blogpost.

So, I haven't been blogging for the past few days simply because there's been SOME stuff that's been happening in my life-- which i am not willing to talk about just because it's a bit negative, and that's not what i want my blog to be about.

When i'm going through a bit of negativeness, the last thing I want to do is come on my blog, and spill the beans. Yes, it's real life, but i'm just not that girl. I've lost a few people near and dear to me and my family, but it all happened too fast. Anyway, things will get better. I just needed some time out.

I'm focusing on the positive things that's happening in my life at the moment. I have met so many amazing likeminded people. And I'm just grateful for having another chance to live my life.

Anyway, I am back now. Things should go back to normal!

I posted a video on my Youtube channel too. I realized that if I don't post anything now, I will never post it. What's the point of fear? It's only an illusion. It's stopping me from living my dreams. I never used to fear anything, especially people, because why should I let someone elses opinion stop me from doing what I really want to do?!

If you want to do something, trust your instincts and do it now. Otherwise, you'll always make excuses and we both know that tomorrow never comes.


Don't forget to like, and subscribe! It would mean the world to me!

S
xx

Thursday, 25 August 2016

summer rain.



Today has been all about being cosy indoors, and making the most out of this rainy weather. Call me crazy but I have actually missed the rain. 

There's nothing more peaceful than listening to the sound of the rain (and also watching a sleepy toddler)!

The good thing about it is, I don't even have to keep nagging my toddler to go to sleep. The rain naturally does it for me.

I'm over this summer, tbh. Sure I'll miss it, but winter is what I'm really excited for. To me, winter is a "hygge" weather. It's the Danish term for cosy, and much more. Google it.

I definitely cannot wait for it :) eeeekkk!!!

S
xx

Wednesday, 24 August 2016

Grateful!


I'm grateful for giving birth to a toddler who loves books. This is probably the only time where he sits down calmly, listens, learns and asks questions.

We read two books every night before bed time. I can't ever escape it lmao. He will make sure he picks out the books he wants read, and puts it on the bed-- ready for me to take a seat and start reading.

Lately, he's into picking a fun book, and then a learning book.

Right now, he's excited to learn about numbers, and counting. So that's what we're doing-- even though he knows all the numbers, and is capable of counting how many sheeps or cows he can see. I'm doing everything at his pace-- so when he's ready to move on from numbers, we will go on to letters as he's kind of forgetting them. He can only recognise certain letters.

Bragging hell, you say. Well I'm not. Hahaa. I'm just really proud of all the things he's learned and achieved before the age of three.

I always tell him "good job, Lucas. You've worked really hard for this" with everything that he does because I want him to know that with hard work, he can achieve anything.

S
xx

Tuesday, 23 August 2016

Potty mouth!!!



We try not to swear around our toddler-- but let me just be honest with you all, I have the biggest potty mouth. I don't swear AT him, oh hell no, I would never do that and I do NOT agree with people who swear at their children because it's so mean -- but when I'm on the phone to my gal friends and the conversation is getting saucy or too deep for my life-- I will swear here and there. And he just happens to be around me. I also swear if I'm tying my hair and the hair bobble snaps because it just happened to be my last hair bobble. It's just one of them things where it flows naturally out of your mouth. I know, it's bad. Shoot me.

Anyhow, lucas picks up things we say quite quick. I'm talking about normal words here. He is really good using things he hears as part of his vocabulary and I kid you not, majority of the time, it makes sense. But today while we were face timing my sister-- he was being so difficult and wouldn't listen at all. So my sister and I  started teasing him about something, I don't even remember what it was right now. Probably something so silly, and he shouted the F word out of frustration. 

My sister said to me " r u not gonna tell him off?!" in her shocked diva Danish-English accent. Well... To be honest with you, I usually ignore if he says bad words, because i don't want to make it into a big deal as he forgets what he said and carries on with his life. But then i thought... What if he says it out of the blue in nursery to other children, or to a teacher? Or even worse, what if we are in a public place and he starts shouting it loud and proud? Toddlers don't give a shit when it comes to those sort of things but I know that I would die of shame. Lol!

We've already established one thing, and that is -- I have to stop swearing when he's around me.

How do you deal with your toddler when he/she drops the F bomb? 

S
xx

Monday, 22 August 2016

Trying not to laugh moment.





These pictures were taken a long time ago. Look how gorgeous his curly hair WAS. I miss it so much. lol.

Anyway, back to the original post.

Lucas has become so sassy these days. I mean, he always used to be but now that his vocabulary is expanding.. He feels the need to express himself even further.. I will tell him to go to the naughty corner and he'll tell me "I don't care to go to the naughty corner, mummy. I don't care" I try so hard not to laugh. I don't even think he knows what "I don't care" means. He will just say it because he's probably heard it from Peppa Pig or something.

Today, he accused me of "always" leaving him, which lead him to not having a good day, as he couldn't find his toys. Kids come out with the funniest things, don't they?

S xx

Sunday, 21 August 2016

Lucas' long lost brother.


We met a lady today-- who kindly stopped us in the streets to tell me that our kids looked the exact same. And she really wasn't lying. Both of our boys honestly looked like long lost twin brothers. Apart from my son is half white and the other little boy is fully Algerian.

We both have pictures of our boys, but i don't want to upload any on here just because I didn't ask her personally, and I'm sure as hell she wouldn't like it lol.

We always meet other kids who have similar looks to Lucas, but honestly, this little kid looked JUST like him. 

We carried on with our day as normal, with Lucas telling our life stories to strangers. He just can't help himself lol. He's too excited about his birthday next month, so he makes sure everyone and their nan knows about it!

I'm still not sure what we will be doing for his THIRD birthday. I better get planning quick as I don't have enough time anymore. 

What did you get up to today? 

S
xx

Saturday, 20 August 2016

This stuff is MAGIC.




Hello, loves and welcome back to another blogpost.

I want to share with you my favourite conditioner that is a game changer.

So, I have been using this Shea Moisture conditioner since the first day I started my natural hair journey. I would always see it in my sisters bathroom, and her curls are to die for, so I thought I would give it a go-- hoping it would bring back some curls into my life.

My poor hair was not only dry, but it was heat damaged as fuck. 

I did actually have SOME curls here and there. They weren't that inspiring to look at, though. Honestly, they were dead, and made me look like I had an electric shock lol.

BUT since I started using this conditioner-- it made all the difference in the way i feel about my hair.

I kid you not, my hair felt and looked a lot more healthier, and shinier than what it used to be. My curls started coming through. I couldn't believe my eyes lol.

For those who know me, know that I would NEVER have my afro' hair out in the open. It would always be straight and up in a bun or with a fringe. Ever since my curls started coming through, I felt more confident in having my hair out. Freeing the afro' never felt so good.

I still have a long way to go, but it's a progress, right?!

Another great thing about this conditioner  is... It smells DEVINE!!!! When I hug someone I know (obvs) the first thing they say is: your hair smells nice-- what did you put in it?" 

I will definitely invest in more Shea Moisture hair products because all I've ever heard is nothing but amazing things about them.

What's your favourite hair product atm? 

S
xx

Friday, 19 August 2016

Get to know me.



I love a cheeky get to know me tag. It's nice getting to know the person behind the screen.

Here's 5 facts about one: 

1. I was born somewhere in East-Africa. Have a guess which country.

2. I don't like ice cream. This happened after I gave birth to my son. I actually truly hate the taste of it lol

3. I'm 5"3

4. I wear a size 6

5. The Lion King is my all time fave

Tell me some things about you, go on ...you know you want to! 

xx

Thursday, 18 August 2016

Things got better.



Hello, loves!! How are thee?!

I felt SO ill last night. This happens every time I'm due on my period. I will vomit, and run to the toilet every two minutes. I couldn't eat, or breathe to save my life. To top it all off, I was experiencing the headache of hell. No ibuprofen could help me. I had to ride it out. I didn't fall asleep until 230am.

It didn't end there, no. I woke up to the worst headache, and belly ache of my life. Naturally, I ran to my bag and got out two ibuprofen and downed that as quick as I could to get rid of this awful pain.

I then ran to the kitchen and started eating a whole lemon, with salt. It's something my mum has taught me. Lemon and salt is the cure for everything, as well as tea-- but I couldn't keep anything down.

The lemon definitely had a massive impact in the way I felt later on in the day because I could eat a little bit of food hours later, and my headache was slowly disappearing.

My day got a whole lot better when my little brother handed me Crest 3D White strips with shit loads of crest toothpaste!!!! It's actually from my little cousin who lives in America! How cute is he?!! I must return back the favour!

I've already started using the 1hr express! I can feel a little bit of sensitivity here and there, but it's nothing major. It's bearable. I will let you know how I get on with them!  

Im also excited to eat those cheetos too. I have to be in the mood to eat certain snacks, though-- and I feel like I will not enjoy them if I eat them now, as I'm feeling SO miserable from the inside haha!!

S
xx

Wednesday, 17 August 2016

Yuk.

The sun was out today, and we all know that when theres a bit of sun, some humans turn bat shit crazy. 

Today I came across two types of people.

The ones who walk around smelling like shit. They obviously can't smell themselves, so we have to. 

And the ones who quite literally piss anywhere and everywhere. They don't care whether there's people or cars going past.-- I will not blame this one on the alcohol.

Anyway, hope you all had a nice day!

S
xx

Tuesday, 16 August 2016

The sunset diary!


Holy shit, look at this beautiful sky. We sat by the window sill again-- just minutes before bed time. And thanked the universe for blessing us with this magnificent view..

After I put my son to bed, I sat by the window again, with the window open this time. Feeling that sweet summer breeze on my face-- I just sat there in silence thinking of all the things that I am genuinely grateful for. And I felt it all.

I thought I would share it with you since I didn't do that much that would be of interest :)!

S
xx

Monday, 15 August 2016

Summer nights.



As I was putting my sleepy toddler to bed, something told me to look outside-- just to witness this glorious sunset. I stood by my window for a good two minutes until my son said "what are you looking at, mummy?" So I picked him up, and let him see the beauty of life with his own eyes.

"Wow, mummy. The sky is bootiful. It's orange, and yeyyow. That's my favourite colour."

He is talking so much, and his speech is getting so clear.

As much as he drives me crazy most days, I love him so much.

Even when he tells me "im not your best friend, anymore" lol.

How is your Monday night going?

S
xx

Sunday, 14 August 2016

SUNDAY.




Hello, loves and welcome back to another blogpost!

This weekend has been filled with family time, mostly. My mothers side of the family came to visit us today (to pay their respect, since my grandad passed away). It was so nice to see aunts, cousins and nieces we haven't seen for a good few years! It's weird how they only live a few hours away, and no one bothers to visit each other, unless someone's passing. Very strange, but that's how life works. People carry on, until the next big thing happens. 

Other than that, I'm feeling a bit blah today. I go through this sad stage once every month. I am definitely due a catchup from the Mother Nature. So naturally, I am aware of what's to come as I never used to pay attention to it before-- but it became such a struggle that I started paying attention to it. I'm trying to snap out of it but it only works when I'm around my positive people dem. Don't get me wrong-- I love my own company but i would be feeling much better if I was around someone positive lol!

On a cute note though, my toddler made me laugh. He said "mummy, Audrey is my best friend." Yes, we talk to her. It's not weird at all. Haha!

S
xx


Saturday, 13 August 2016

urgh.

I don't know what the hell is happening to my face. I am becoming so spotty, and it's making me sad as I never get spots!

Well, I do but not this crazy! I get the ones you can't pop, the really big painful ones and usually only in one place-- and that's my chin. Lol!

I'm literally getting these horrible spots all over my face! I am eating healthy, and drinking water SO WHY ON EARTH IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME?!! 

Ok, I need to relax, as there's worse things going on in the world.

The more I think about it and the more I spend my time looking in the mirror of ways to get rid of them-- without popping them.... THE MORE SPOTS THAT ARE COMING THROUGH.

HELP!!!!!

S
xx

Friday, 12 August 2016

THE WORST NIGHTMARE.



I had the worst night ever last night. 

It was just a normal night with my toddler telling me every two seconds "mummy, I'm just so tired" yes I'm aware of that kid, because you refused to have a nap! 

I knew he was overtired. He was vocal about it. But I didn't anticipate the night that was heading our way! 

We had our usual, normal bed time routine. I read him a story, and he drifted off to sleep. Just as he normally does.

Then two hours later, he woke up SCREAMING his head off. My heart nearly jumped out of my chest. I didn't know what was happening to him! he wouldn't look at me, or talk to me as he was too busy crying!

I tried to calm him down, and patted his back. Finally, he said something! "I am so tired, mummy, I just want to sleep" I don't think he was aware of what was happening, but I told him to dream about nice things, and asked whether he would like me to sing him a song, lmao, long story cut short, he drifted off to sleep.

Then it happened again at bang on 4AM. I wasn't in deep sleep, but at the same time I wasn't awake. I don't know how to explain it lol. I was there, ready, but enjoying my sleep too. Anyway, he starts SCREAMING again in his sleep. I'm getting so frustrated at this point, because he won't tell me what's bothering him! He's not talking to me. His eyes aren't actually open, he's just crying. 

I have heard of night terrors before, but never in my life was I thinking that it would happen to my toddler?! I wasn't even expecting it to. Who sits there, expecting for horrid things to happen to their child? lol. Not me!

I am such a cry baby, so of course, I started crying because I knew my child wasn't sick! I stopped obsessing over him becoming ill like beginning of this year, so he is completely healthy, and hasn't got sick for MONTHS! 

I cuddled him to sleep, and guess what I woke up to this morning?! He's wet the bed! He's always dry at night, and knows when to go to the toilet, so....

Damn you water-melon! We will not be eating you before bed time, anymore!

This morning-- i googled night terrors, and that confirmed everything for me. I'm just going to make sure he's not over-tired in the future as that was the main cause of it. 

Thank the bloody universe that it's normal, as I was shitting in my boots, lol. 

I have never experienced it before and obviously had no idea that one day it would happen to my toddler! 

Anyway, the good news is that he's happy and healthy this morning. He doesn't remember anything!

Thursday, 11 August 2016

YES.


This morning I am ticking off some of the goals that I set myself from a few weeks ago, and writing more things that I want to achieve by the end of this year. I get ticking happy because there's not a better feeling than ticking off your goals knowing that everything you said has happened. I love when everything flows beautifully.

My goals for the rest of the year is getting me excited and nervous at the same time, but I know that I will achieve it or die trying lol! I am going to give WHSmith a visit so I can buy a board, as I would like to have a vision board. I'm a visual person, so I think that would really help me!

What are your plans for today?

S
xx

Wednesday, 10 August 2016

MY POSITIVE MORNING.


Good morning, everyone, and welcome to another blogpost!

Good things and bad things happened last week, but I learned to appreciate life, and my family even more and live in the moment.

We have been enjoying life over the weekend with my family, which involved a lot of late nights once the kids have gone to bed! How else were we going to speak without being interrupted, hey?!

Now that we have said our goodbyes, and life is gone back to normal, I am also back to practicing being a morning person. By that I mean, waking up bang on 6 o'clock! Just like I used to. Not snoozing the alarm bell like 100x. My toddler has been acting like a teenager these past couple of days, I think he's overily tired. He doesn't wake up before 730, 8 or even 9 ! He's been doing A LOT of walking, that may be the reason haha! 

As I was saying, it's so nice to wake up in the morning in your own accord without  a baby or a toddler forcing you to wake up because they are "hungry" or " I need a WEE, MUMMY" in the exact words of my toddler. That leads you to getting out of bed, not because you want to (you could do with that extra five minutes) but you HAVE to get up because you're avoiding your toddlers tantrums. Plus, these little humans need some sort of entertainment before they ruin the whole house, with sudocrem or a tub of Nutella. Or if they're being really spontaneous, they might even poo in your carpet. Sorry for the tmi. My toddler has done this back in the day, before we even introduced potty. Ha! 

Here's what I do in my morning routine. I wake up SO much happier. With lots of energy!

1. As soon as I wake up, I want to check my phone, no kidding! But this time, I write in my gratitude book before I speak to anyone or check anything! I spend 10 minutes or something of my morning doing this. I don't just write write write, I FEEL it too.

2. I need to quench this thirst, girl! Yes before I touch anything, I drink two big glasses of water. This is possible. Trust me. I used to hate drinking water, but i swear water will help you out SO much!

3. I love reading, and I don't get to do it that often, so I grab my book that I always carry around with me. It's called "The Secret". I manifested this book, subconsciously. I am not kidding. Lol. I read it for about ten minutes. 

4. I start getting ready the day. First thing I do before I get in the shower is, I brush my teeth. I don't know why I do it in this order, but I like to save time I guess lol. So right after that's done, I hop in the shower, and I think about all the good things that has happened to me in my life, or this year, and my goals for the rest of the year. After I finish meditating in the shower, I baby oil the HELL out of my body. If you want a smooth skin, baby oil is your girl!

5. I get dressed because deep down I know that my toddler is about to wake up, so I get my laptop out, put some relaxing, and happy music on. I put on my outfit of the day, do my eyebrows because I don't have any, then I get on with doing my big hair. Oh btw, my toddler loves waking up to Erykah Badu, Sade and Alicia Keys' music! You need to be aware of the type of music you listen to. If it's making you sad or negative, you need new music, girl!

6. I am feeling like a grown woman at this point. Call me Beyoncé if you like. My toddler is still sleeping through the music, so I am writing this blogpost. YES! And also, I don't normally eat breakfast, but when I do, we always eat together! 

Nothing can stop me now. I can deal with any negatives that come my way. I will not let my toddlers tantrums affect me, haha! 

I hope you like this post! If you're not happy with something in your life, change your routine! It makes all the difference! 

S
xx 

Tuesday, 9 August 2016

IT WOULD MEAN THE WORLD TO ME!!!



Hello, everybody! If you're in a good, happy mood, why not head over to my youtube channel and click the SUBSCRIBE button? It would mean the world to me, hehe!

Just type in Me And Lucas Vlogs"!

S
xx

Monday, 8 August 2016

FAMILY TIME.




My curly twin and I had the best / funniest weekend EVER, with our babes.

Lucas went ice skating for the first time in his life time with his little cousin, and he absolutely LOVED it. I couldn't take any pictures as I was petrified that I would fall over or that I would drop my phone, so I recorded little bits of it here and there. I'm not bad at lace skating either, so over time, Lucas got confident and started sliding instead of walking lol , the little skates were SO cute!!!!

He also went to a festival with loads of rides for the first time in his lifetime. And again, him and his cousin didn't want to leave. They were both loving life, lol! 

I recorded everything, so I want to show you our experience rather than write about it. I'll try and link the video into a different post so you can watch and pretend you're with us :)

Ps. Do you like the fish plaits that I did on my niece?

S
xx

Sunday, 7 August 2016

OH DEAR.

Ok so I missed a day of blogging yesterday, which means I have to start the challenge from the beginning. It is called the 30 day challenge for a reason, duh! But this time, I will sort my self out and be a lot more organised rather than rushing myself and feeling like I don't have enough time. That is the shit that I don't like.

I will catch up with you tomorrow about everything that we have been up to this weekend.

S
xx

Friday, 5 August 2016

FRIDAY.



I just have to share what I ate today. It was heaven in my mouth. Seriously, I could eat it every day!

S
xx


Thursday, 4 August 2016

AN EARLY WEEKEND.



These two little rascals are finally reunited with each other, and it feels sooooo good!!!! They were so excited to see each other. It was the most cutest thing to witness. 

You'll be seeing a lot of blog pictures of these two for the rest of the early weekend as we're going to a festival together (on Saturday) wahaaaay!!!!

What are your plans for the weekend? 

S
xx


Wednesday, 3 August 2016

Tuesday, 2 August 2016

real talk.


this is such a random post, but today, i wanted to take some blog photos for my blog. of myself. then i realised.. i will never actually post them simply because of the way that my body looks, especially my legs. they are ridiculously skinny, and i can't help but judge myself. i know that's the strangest thing to say, but it's true. i have always been naturally skinny, and putting on weight is something that i have never been able to do. since having my son, my weight has just been none existence. i keep losing, and losing no matter what i eat.

i love dressing up, and looking pretty. so one day, i hope to see a confident me on this blog, and not care about what another person thinks of me or my weight.

S
xx

Monday, 1 August 2016

MY HAPPY LIST.




Happy 1st day of August, loves! I quite hope that this month is a slow one, as its Lucas' THIRD birthday next month! WHAT?! No please!!!

So back to the original post..

I'm going to start sharing my happy list with you guys, I mean, why not! They're very simple stuff that makes me happy, and that I want to remember. If you like reading things like this (like I do) then carry on my dear!

Okay, so three things that made me happy today:

Lucas asked to listen to Erykah Badu. He is fascinated by her, and of course because she is bae.

He told me he loved me

And he took a nap today.-- which by the way he never does anymore... so yay to that!

What's on your happy list today? 

xx

Sunday, 31 July 2016

MAKING SPACE FOR NEW THINGS!

Hello, everybody.... ! How's your Sunday going??

Today is all about making space for some things. I am having a clear out day lol. I think i have too much stuff that I don't actually wear anymore. And some things are waaaaaay too big for me. I don't even fit size 6 properly, anymore ITS SO DEPRESSING!!!! But that's for another post!

I have SO MUCH shit that I don't wear anymore, and its just there taking up too much space in my wardrobe. I can no longer bare to look at it any longer!

I go through this stage of wanting to get rid of stuff too often lol. And the worst thing is, while i'm doing this...I will give myself 120 reasons why I should keep certain things that I know deep down in my heart i'll never get to use or wear. I like giving stuff away as I know there will be someone else who will appreciate it and enjoy it just as much as I did, if not more.

I'm not going to lie, I have been singing in front of the mirror more than actually sorting out my clothes lmao. My playlist is just too good!!!!

I need to get cracking before the sun goes home!!

Have a good evening!

Ciao! 

S
xx

Saturday, 30 July 2016

OUTFIT OF THE DAY (TODDLER)







SHIRT: H&M
CHINO SHORTS: H&M
SHOES: PRIMARK (I can't find anything similar anywhere, sorry)

Who said dressing a boy isn't fun??? I am loving these spotty chino shorts! And the white shirt goes so well with it. White and toddler don't mix but he promised me not to get it dirty, ha! He's so boisterous, this boy! As soon as he knows he's safe, he will let go of my hand and runs wild. This lead him to fall over, He doesn't really dwell on things. He actually gets over things like falling over and stuff quite fast as i don't make a big deal out of it. However, I need to start carrying around plasters, for days like this lol.

Everyone he came across with today stopped us to tell him how cute he looked LOL, I don't think he knew what was happening as he didn't care the slightest bit. Someone even asked me if they could take a picture of him. Obviously I didn't let them, but yeah, i've tagged everything he wore, if you're interested!

S
xx

Friday, 29 July 2016

SLEEPING ANGEL.


This is what happens when you wake up extremely early,  leave the house-- and go for a long swim. 

We were in the pool for the longest time because Lucas is obsessed with water.

He couldn't even stay awake to finish his food. Lol. 

What did you get up to today? 

S
xx


Thursday, 28 July 2016

QUOTE OF THE DAY.


You want to start blogging? Start now. 
You want to eat healthy? Start now. 
You want to work out? Start now.
You want to get rid of negative friends? Start now.
You want to start taking driving lessons? Start now. 
You want to stop trolling on the Internet, and be a good person? START NOW!

If something truly matters to you, I don't care how many times you tell yourself "I don't have enough time in my day." You WILL make time for it, if it's THAT important to you. Don't be scared. It's a waste of time. You don't want to be regretting things a year from now. If you want to see change... START NOW!!!!

S
xx